2. The English Invented It

Yes, yes it's true, essentially. People have probably been kicking objects into goals for centuries, millenia probably but it was the English who made the rules, took the game around the world while they were "colonizing" and then proceeded to lose the game the way they lost their empire. The English now may play the least attractive form of "soccer" or "football" in the world. And they further their decline with their "Premiership", which they think is "The Best League in the World" (perhaps) but everybody knows most English players are not good enough to play in the "Premier" league in the world. And there is now much wringing of hands on the grand old island that gave the world...Vinny Jones...and...Helen Mirren...